Fun on Run :)

Addicted to Internet... :)

1. A friend stops to see you since your phone has been busy-----for a year!!!!!"(FOR DIAL UP'S)

2. You forgot how to work the TV remote control.

3. You see something funny and scream, "LOL, LOL."

4. You tell everyone, that after surgery, your mom went to ICQ ......instead of ICU!

5. You sign off and your screen says you were on for 3 days and 45 minutes.

6. You placed the refrigerator beside your computer.

7. You buy a laptop and a cell phone so you can have ICQ in your car.

8. You beg your friends to get an account so you can "hang out."

9. You get a second phone line just to call out for pizza.

10. You purchase a vanity car license plate with your screen name on it.

11. You say "he he he he" or "heh heh heh" instead of laughing.

12. You say "SCROLL UP" when someone asks what it was you said.

13. You talk on the phone with the same person you are sending an instant message to.

14. You look at an annoying person off line and wish that you had your ignore button handy.

15. You start to experience "withdrawal" after not being online for awhile.

16. You say......."Where did the time go??"

17. You sit on ICQ for 6 hours for that certain special person to sign on.

18. You get up in the morning and go online before getting your coffee.

19.You end your sentences with.....three or more periods..... ..

20. Your shoes are suddenly 2 sizes too small.

21. You enter a room and get greeted by 25 people with {{{hugs}}} and ** kisses**.

22. Being called a newbie is a major insult to you.

23. You're on the phone and say BRB.

24. Your answering machine/voice mail sounds a little like this...."BRB. Leave your S/N and I'll TTYL ASAP".

25. You get up at 2:00 AM to go to the bathroom and turn the computer on instead.

:D

The truest definition of Globalization?

Question: What is the truest definition of Globalization?

Answer: Princess Diana's death.

Question: How come?

Answer: An English princess with an Egyptian boyfriend crashes in a French tunnel, driving a German car with a Dutch engine, driven by a Belgian who was drunk on Scottish whisky, followed closely by Italian Paparazzi, on Japanese motorcycles; treated by an American doctor, using Brazilian medicines. This is sent to you by Indian, using Bill Gates's technology, and you're probably reading this on your computer, that use Taiwanese chips, and a Korean monitor, assembled by Bangladeshi workers in a Singapore plant, transported by Pakistan lorry-drivers, hijacked by Indonesians, and trucked to you by Mexican illegals....

:D

Customer Care 2222

Hi Friends, This is a good conversation between the customer care and its customer. i hope u will like this conversation. Plz read n comment will this happen in the future or not? Enjoy.....

Customer care in 2222

Operator : "Thank you for calling Pizza Hut . May I have your..."

Customer: "Hello, can I order.."

Operator : "Can I have your multi purpose card number first, Sir?"

Customer: "It's eh..., hold..........on......889861356102049998-45-54610"

Operator : "OK... you're... Mr Singh and you're calling from 17 Jalan Kayu. Your home number is 4094! 2366, your office 76452302 and your mobile is 0142662566. Which number are you calling from now Sir?"

Customer: "Home! How did you get all my phone numbers?

Operator : "We are connected to the system Sir"

Customer: "May I order your Seafood Pizza..."

Operator : "That's not a good idea Sir"

Customer: "How come?"

Operator : "According to your medical records, you have high blood pressure and even higher cholesterol level Sir"

Customer: "What?... What do you recommend then?"

Operator : "Try our Low Fat Hokkien Mee Pizza. You'll like it"

Customer: "How do you know for sure?"

Operator : "You borrowed a book entitled "Popular Hokkien Dishes" from the National Library last week Sir"

Customer: "OK I give up... Give me three family size ones then, how much will that cost?"

Operator : "That should be enough for your family of 10, Sir. The total is $49.99"

Customer: "Can I pay by! credit card?"

Operator : "I'm afraid you have to pay us cash, Sir. Your credit card is over the limit and you owe your bank $3,720.55 since October last year. That's not including the late payment charges on your housing loan, Sir."

Customer: "I guess I have to run to the neighbourhood ATM and withdraw some cash before your guy arrives"

Operator : "You can't Sir. Based on the records, you've reached your daily limit on machine withdrawal today"

Customer: "Never mind just send the pizzas, I'll have the cash ready. How long is it gonna take anyway?"

Operator : "About 45 minutes Sir, but if you can't wait you can always come and collect it on your motorcycle..."

Customer: " What!"

Operator : "According to the details in system ,you own a Scooter,...registration number 1123..."

Customer: " ????"

Operator : "Is there anything else Sir?"

Customer: "Nothing... by the way... aren't you giving me that 3 free bottles of cola as advertised?"

Operator : "We normally would Sir, but based on your records you're also diabetic...."

Customer: #$$^%&$@$% ^

Operator : "Better watch your language Sir. Remember on 15th July 1987 you were convicted of using abusive language on a policeman...?"

Customer: [Faints]

[:D]

History History...

Lincon VS Kennedy

Abraham Lincoln was elected to Congress in 1846.
John F. Kennedy was elected to Congress in 1946.

Abraham Lincoln was elected President in 1860.
John F. Kennedy was elected President in 1960.

Both were particularly concerned with civil rights.
Both wives lost their children while living in the White House.

Both Presidents were shot on a Friday.
Both Presidents were shot in the head.

Now it gets really weird.

Lincoln 's secretary was named Kennedy.
Kennedy's Secretary was named Lincoln.

Both were assassinated by Southerners.
Both were succeeded by Southerners named Johnson.

Andrew Johnson, who succeeded Lincoln, was born in 1808.
Lyndon Johnson, who succeeded Kennedy, was born in 1908.

John Wilkes Booth, who assassinated Lincoln, was born in 1839.
Lee Harvey Oswald, who assassinated Kennedy, was born in 1939.

Both assassins were known by their three names.
Both names are composed of fifteen letters.

Now hang on to your seat.

Lincoln was shot at the theater named 'Ford.'
Kennedy was shot in a car called ' Lincoln' made by 'Ford.'

Lincoln was shot in a theater and his assassin ran and hid in a warehouse.
Kennedy was shot from a warehouse and his assassin ran and hid in a theater.

Booth and Oswald were assassinated before their trials.

And here's the kicker...

A week before Lincoln was shot, he was in Monroe, Maryland
A week before Kennedy was shot, he was with Marilyn Monroe.

Hey, this is one history lesson people don't mind reading...:)

Word Power Made Easy...;-)

1. Cigarette : A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool at the other.

2. Love affairs: Something like cricket where one-day internationals are more popular than a five-day test.

3. Marriage: It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her master

4. Divorce: Future tense of marriage

5. Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either".

6. Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

7. Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.

8. Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by feminine waterpower.

9. Dictionary: A place where divorce comes before marriage and Death comes before life.

10. Conference Room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens & everybody disagrees later on.

11. Ecstasy: A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before.

12. Classic: A book which people praise, but do not read.

13. Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

14. Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

15. Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.

16. Etc.: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

17. Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.

18. Experience: The name men give to their mistakes.

19. Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.

20. Philosopher: A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.

21. Diplomat: A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.

22. Opportunist: A person who starts taking a bath if he accidentally falls into a river.

23. Optimist: A person who while falling from Eiffel Tower says in midway "See I am not injured yet."

24. Pessimist: A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, Instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY.

25. Miser: A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.

26. Father: A banker provided by nature.

27. Criminal: A guy no different from the rest... except that he got caught.

28. Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

29. Politician: One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.

30. Doctor: A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.

31. Computer Engineer: One who gets paid for reading such jokes.

1...2...3...must see...: )

Imagination has more power than reality...

try urself... : )

Raed it...

Olny srmat poelpe can raed tihs.

Cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! if you can raed tihs psas it on.

:)

Interview...Interview

INTERVIEW QUESTIONS......:)

Honestly, we will have these answers in our mind...
but we give different, tailored and suitable answers to the guy !

so, let's start...

1. Why did you apply for this job?

ans:) I have applied for many jobs along with this and you called me now.

2. Why do you want to work for this company?

ans:) I have to work for some company who ever gives me a job, I don't have any specific company in mind.

3. Why should I hire you?

ans:) You have to hire some one, you may give me a try.

4. What would you do if 'this' happened?

ans:) Well, it depends on my mindset and mood at that situation...

5. What is your biggest strength?

ans:) Basically, daring to join any company who pays me well, without thinking of the fate of company.

6.What is your biggest weakness?

ans:) Girls

7. What was your worst mistake, and how did you learn from it?

ans:) Joining my earlier company and learnt that I need to jump to get more money, so I am here today...

8. What accomplishments in your last position are you most proud of?

ans:) Had I accomplished any in my last position, why do I need to change my job? I could demand more and stay there.

9. Describe a challenge you faced and how you overcame it?

ans:) Biggest challenge is answering the question "why are you looking for a change" and I started blabbering irrelevantly to overcome that.

10. Did you hear of our company and what do you know of us?

ans:) Yeah, I have heard it while reading the interview call. And I knew that you would ask this that's why I've gone through your website just before coming here.

11. What do you want from this job?

ans:) If no work is given but keep giving good hikes...

12. What are your career goals and how do you plan to achieve them?

ans:) Make more money and for that keep jumping companies for every 2 yrs.

13. Why did you leave/ are you leaving your last job?

ans:) For the same reason why you left your earlier job.

14. What is the salary expected and how do justify that?

ans:) Well, no one will change job for the same salary, hence, give me 20% extra than what I am getting.

SO, what are your answers... ;)

Kaun Banega Crorepati ???

Sardarji is in a Quiz Contest trying to win prize money of Rs.1 crore.

The questions are as follows:

1) How long was the 100 yr war?

A) 116
B) 99
C) 100
D) 150

Sardar says "I will skip this"

2) In which country are the Panama hats made?

A) BRASIL
B) CHILE
C) PANAMA
D) EQUADOR

Sardar asks for help from the University students

3) In which month do the Russians celebrate the October Revolution?

A) JANUARY
B) SEPTEMBER
C) OCTOBER
D) NOVEMBER

Sardar asks for help from general public

4) Which of these was King George VI first name?

A) EDER
B) ALBERT
C) GEORGE
D) MANOEL

Sardar asks for lucky cards

5) The Canary islands, in the Pacific Ocean, has its name based on which animal:

A) CANARY BIRD
B) KANGAROO
C) PUPPY
D) RAT

Sardar gives up.

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SCROLL DOWN.......

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If u think you are indeed clever and laughed at Sardar's replies, then please check the answers below:

1) The 100 year war lasted 116 years from 1337-1453

2) The Panama hat is made in Equador

3) The October revolution is celebrated in November

4) King George's first name was Albert. In 1936 he changed his name.

5) Puppy. The Latin name is INSULARIA CANARIA which means islands of the
puppies.

Now tell me who's the dumb one....???? he he :D

A B C...

THIS IS ONE OF THE NICEST AND MOST BEAUTIFUL USES OF THE ALPHABET THAT I HAVE EVER SEEN.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY IT AS MUCH AS I DID.

Although things are not perfect
Because of trial or pain
Continue in thanksgiving
Do not begin to blame
Even when the times are hard
Fierce winds are bound to blow
God is forever able
Hold on to what you know
Imagine life without His love
Joy would cease to be
Keep thanking Him for all the things
Love imparts to thee
Move out of "Camp Complaining"
No weapon that is known
On earth can yield the power
Praise can do alone
Quit looking at the future
Redeem the time at hand
Start every day with worship
To "thank" is a command
Until we see Him coming
Victorious in the sky
We'll run the race with gratitude
Xalting God most high
Yes, there'll be good times and yes some will be bad, but...
Zion waits in glory...where none are ever sad!

My Dream Company... ;)

1. NIIT : Not Interested in IT

2. WIPRO : Weak Input, Poor & Rubbish Output

3. HCL : Hidden Costs & Losses

4. TCS : Totally Confusing Solutions

5. INFOSYS :Inferior Offline Systems

6. HUGHES : Highly Useless Graduates Hired for Eating and Sleeping

7. BAAN : Beggars Association and Nerds

8. IBM : Implicitly Boring Machines

9. SATYAM : Sad And Tired Yelling Away Madly

10. PARAM : Puzzled And Ridiculous Array of Microprocessors

11. C-DOT : Coffee During Office Timings

12. AT&T : All Troubles & Terrible

13. CMC : Coffee, Meals and Comfort

14. DEC : Drifting & Exhausted Computers

15. BFL : Brainwash First and Let them go

17. TISL : Totally Inconsistent Systems Ltd.

18. PSI : Peculiar Symptoms of India

19. ORACLE : On-line Romance And Chatting with Lady Employees.

20. PATNI: Pathetic Appraisal Techniques, No Increments.

21. MASTEK: Mad And Stupid Technitians Enroute to Kabaarkhan

Find are they 12 or 13 ?

Find, Are they 12 or 13 ?

Keep looking.

WHERE DOES THE EXTRA MAN COME FROM?

Don't ask me ;)

YOU KNOW YOU ARE LIVING IN 2006 when...

YOU KNOW YOU ARE LIVING IN 2006 when...

1. You go to a party, sit down and take pics.

2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.

3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of three.

4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you.

5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is
that they don't have e-mail addresses.

6. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if
anyone is home to help you carry in the groceries.

7. Every commercial on television has a web site at the bottom of the
screen.

8. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn't even
have the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for
panic and you turn around to go and get it.

10. You get up in the morning and go online before getting your
coffee.

11.You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of justpushing the button on the TV

12. You start tilting your head sideways to smile. : )

13. You're reading this and nodding and laughing.

14. Even worse, you know exactly to whom you are going to forward this
message.

15. You are too busy to notice there was no #9 on this list.

16. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn't a #9 on
this list.

AND NOW U R LAUGHING at yourself. :D